If you’re planning a wedding in
2015, then you may already be up to your eyes in lists; cakes, wedding venues,
guests… there is a lot to think about. That’s why we chatted to Sheila Mabeth,
Wedding Coordinator at Homewood Park, for some insight from on an
expert.
Why did you decide to become a wedding co-ordinator and how long have
you been in the business?
Having had a long career in the
hospitality industry, I began organising weddings in my previous hotel, and
then was asked to come to Homewood Park specifically to manage their wedding
business as the number of weddings they were taking was falling.
After having a taste of wedding
coordinating in my previous role, I was so happy, because not only did I get to
do a job I loved again, but I got an added challenge as well.
The decision to become a full time
wedding co-ordinator was easy, after having had a taste of what it’s like to
provide that spectacular day in someone’s life, to be constantly surprised with
every new wedding at what love looks like and what it means to different people
and how it manifests – I truly can’t imagine doing anything else. It’s a job
that constantly offers me challenges, laughter and insight and allows me to
feel inspired and excited every single day.
What characteristics make a successful wedding co-ordinator?
A good wedding co-ordinator must be
able to engage in conversation very quickly and allow people to feel very safe
and comfortable from the start.
Everyone will have at some point
been to a wedding or seen pictures after the event and thought of how lovely it
looks. No one thinks of the hours spent at work by the bride and groom in order
to afford that wedding, or the caring father who has offered hundreds and
sometimes thousands of pounds, so his daughter has the day she has grown up
telling him about. No one thinks of the co-ordinating that goes into the day so
that it is seamless and everything that bride and groom wanted; no one thinks
about all that has led to that one day to make it everything that it seems in
pictures.
As the wedding co-ordinator, you have
to see that person from earlier in their lives than when you have met them, you
have to see them from that excited ten year old with a tea towel over their
head, promenading around the garden with flowers they have picked and you have
to understand, be enthused and be excited about making their wishes come true.
In turn, they have to believe that you want for them, what they have always
wanted for themselves, only then will you be a successful wedding coordinator.
What was the most difficult wedding you have planned and how did you
overcome the problems associated with it?
I once coordinated with a particular
bridegroom who was extremely particular and thought he would do the job
himself, to the point of contacting me most days to up discuss everything. With
this particular gentleman, I had to exercise great patience and also
understanding.
With my background in hospitality, I
have dealt numerous times with difficult individuals and I have over time
learnt that it always comes from a good place. If a person is worrying, it is
probably because they have been let down at some stage. Or if they're overly
meticulous, it’s probably because they have at some point been berated for
forgetting or misjudging something.
With this particular gentleman, I
continually listened to all he had to say and reassured him that he was right
with his thoughts and correct to vocalise such things to me, so we could work
towards the perfect day he and his wife so obviously deserved, after all their
personal hard work.
As a result, he felt valued and
listened to and like no task was too large, nor too small. WE worked together
to create the day they had both wished for and afterwards he and his wife
thanked me for my calm demeanour and constant willingness to listen and help.
From the initial enquiry to the wedding day itself, talk us through how
you nurture the relationship between yourself, the bride and groom.
The process begins with the initial
visit and usually at that point I can tell if we are going to have a really
strong relationship.
I personally have two grown-up
daughters and that has helped tremendously as I have a very well developed
insight as to how bridge to be are thinking and it is quite easy for me to
start the friendship at that point as this means we always have lots to talk
about straight away.
By taking a great deal of time and
effort to explain the whole process, both with the bride and groom they have
the confidence to contact me whenever they wish to develop the various stages
of their wedding.
Although first impressions are
extremely important, I always strive to keep up this same level of interest in
the person and to always make myself available to them. Each bride and groom
thinks they are the only person you are dealing with and the most important,
personally to me they are. Every time a different person rings me, my brain
switches from whatever I was doing to just them – they are my focus and they
are, at that moment, what’s important to me and my priority.
I think this mind-set does come from
having two daughters, throughout their formative and adolescent years, it was a
juggling act to ensure that they both felt like they were the most important
people to me in the world, I would try exceptionally hard to ensure that they
had all that they wanted but were realistic about all situations throughout.
Being a mother, particularly of
girls, has led me to be a very understanding, nurturing, patient, enthusiastic
and considerate wedding coordinator and I repeatedly go above and beyond for my
brides, so they feel safe, secure and excited for the wedding day they have
wished for.
Talk us through a typical day in the office during the planning process
of the wedding.
A typical day always begins with
reading through my email and listening to phone messages. This often leads to
phoning or emailing back my brides to be and ensuring all their needs are met,
and they do tend to change and grow from day to day. I always feel it’s best to
do this first thing in the morning so that I can ensure that I have the whole
day to iron out any worries that they may have and ensure that by the end of
the day, they are happy and calm and trusting of the changes and the situation.
After this I will run through
function sheets for upcoming weddings, I find it is essential that these are
updated as soon as discussions with bridges are over to ensure everything is
perfect for their wedding day.
Once everything is updated, I look
to the operation of the day and see where things need to be ordered and/or
organised, such as marquees, BBQ’s, menu/wine tastings, room layouts, timings, bedrooms etc. Once I
have gone through all of this, I update my brides, the operations team and the
general manager.
My whole day is then punctuated with
incoming calls and enquiries via email, all of which I aim to answer within two
hours of them coming in.
Talk us through your role and tasks on the special day itself.
On the wedding day I make sure the
bride is happy in her room as my first priority and see if there is anything
she needs – making sure she is confident that her wedding is going to be
amazing!
Following this, I check with the
food and beverage team that they are up to speed with all the details of the
timings and that the room is all set up perfectly.
I then always make sure I am at
reception, ready to greet the guests and introduce myself and extend my
services to each individual. Although the wedding day is all about the bride
and groom, generally each person standing will have paid towards their
accommodation, so it is also important that they are treated as any other hotel
guest would be, with kindness, politeness and willingness to help them with
whatever they might need, at any juncture. I believe this also makes the bride
feel more comfortable, if she knows her guests are being well looked after then
her hopes for the wedding being carefully crafted and nurtured will be higher.
I then meet with the registrar and
ensure they are briefed on the running of the ceremony. This is an extremely
important part of my day as the bride has often placed their faith in an
individual they haven’t met, or have met briefly to run what is the most
crucial moments of many of their lives. The bride therefore puts a lot of faith
in me, as the wedding coordinator, to ensure that the registrar is entirely
aware of the running of the wedding – this meeting is therefore crucial and
must be run in the correct way, with enough time and care taken over it, to
ensure that all elements are considered and conveyed.
Finally I then go and see the bride
again and compliment her on not only her outfit but also all the choices she
has made for her special day, and assure her that everything looks perfect,
including her. I then talk to the groom and wish him every luck and happiness
and ensure him that his bride is excited to see him in a few moments time.
From here on out, it’s in the hands
of our superb operations team.
What level of support can a bride expect from a Homewood Park Wedding
Co-ordinator?
I always aim to provide 100% support
and always tell the bridge to ask anything at any time, however trivial it may
seem to her. Nothing is ever too much trouble for me – I have even been invited
to be with the bride as she gets ready, helping them with their dress or just
being there to make them feel special. It’s amazing how many brides suddenly
feel pangs of insecurity at the minute for whatever reason, sometimes it’s
because they didn’t quite lose the weight the wanted to for their wedding day
(although I’ve never had a bride who’s looked anything less than a princess),
or that the shade of ivory they chose for their shoes, doesn’t exactly match
the shade of ivory of their dress…it’s always the little things, in the last
five minutes that nearly break them. It’s unbelievable to me how much women
take on when they get married – they spend months, even years in some people’s
cases, planning this gorgeous, imaginative days, they show themselves to be
tenacious, ambitious, beautiful women and then in those last five minutes, you
see that persons vunerabilites – at that point it is unbelievably important to
be a lot for that woman. You must be their mum, their advisory, their friend,
they conscience, everything, and you must do it in an enthusiastic, kind but honest
fashion.
Whatever is required of me on the
day, is what I will provide. A shoulder to lean on, a 12am finish, a
child-minder, a councillor, a hypnotist, a speech therapist, a tea maker, a
champagne pourer, a friend, a member of the operations team, or simply a guest.
However, I always recognise that it
is the bride and groom who ultimately make a wedding perfect. It is their
earnest love for one another, it is the laughter of the children they have
invited to come, it is the grandma who has tears in her eyes, it is the best
man who gives an unexpectedly funny speech, it is the little brother who tells
the bride she is the most beautiful one he has ever seen, it is the love and
wishes of happiness that are bestowed as people leave, it’s the guests exchanging
funny stories at breakfast the morning afterwards and, ultimately, it is the
start of the lives two people are about to share with each other. An entirely
new, beautiful chapter of their lives that began here, at Homewood Park.
Conversely, what should a couple not expect from the wedding team on
their wedding day?
A couple should not expect poor or
slow service, any negativity from any staff or anything they wanted, not being
present.
They should not expect to feel alone
at any point or like they have not been listened to.
They should never feel that their
attendees are not being looked after or considered.
What are the most varied requests you have come across during your
experience in the role?
I have been asked to source owls
for wedding ring bearers.
I have been asked to calm down
anxious fathers, with pre-speech nerves.
I have been asked to look after
countless toddlers and young people, numerous numbers of which have been in the
full throws of tantrums.
I have been asked to dress brides –
and believe it or not, last minute I have been known to be asked questions such
as “which earrings do you prefer?”
Equally I also get asked to take
photos of the venue, to show the bride so she can make sure it is to her liking
and to put a bouquet of flowers in the bridal suite, courtesy of an adorable
grandfather or amorous Groom.
People do ask me for a lot and it’s
always exciting, I only ever tend to get requests that would make the day even
more wonderful – unexpected surprises and kindness. I look forward to them!
Do you have a personal favourite style of wedding to help create?
I always enjoy the most romantic
weddings. The ones that have focused on small, whimsical details – for example,
I once had a bride who wished to have tree lanterns and little jam pots with
tea lights glowing inside them, all the way up the main driveway, creating this
beautiful glow up towards our beautiful house.
Little touches like this make
wedding days into magical days and magic is what each and every bride I meet
lusts after.
What's the biggest myth about the role of a Wedding Co-ordinator?
The biggest myth, owing the
Hollywood films and television depictions, is that wedding co-ordinators are
capable of creating the day you want, without you having to even be involved.
To my mind, the role of a wedding
co-ordinator is to advice, facilitate and enthuse. It is undeniably important
that brides play an active role in wedding coordination and ensures that, at
every turn, the wedding that is being planned and created is the exact wedding
she’s dreamt of.
What takes a wedding from being very
good to being exceptional, are the personalities of the bride and groom showing
through. If they are a humorous pair of people, I often think it is brilliant
when they have photo booths with amusing props, or if they are musical, it’s
brilliant when they choose to play a song on the set they have chosen too, or
if they are arty, it’s brilliant to see things they have made for the tables or
for outside on their special day.
It is the individuals who create a
fabulous day, a wedding coordinator is just there to make sure it’s
operationally sound and to offer support, kindness and willingness throughout
the process.
What are the advantages/benefits of being a Wedding Co-ordinator?
This is a clear and obvious answer –
to see a couples dream manifest, and to know that in some way, however small or
large, it was because of me.
What are the more challenging elements to your day-to-day role?
My main challenges come from the
constant, changeable, different demands of brides. It is undeniably important
to constantly reassure and encourage brides and put them at ease and to placate
them in such a way that they feel happy and cared for by me, the operations
team, the general manager and everyone else here at Homewood Park.
What is your advice to couples with a tight budget?
My advice would start with informing
them that everyone has a budget, whether it is self-enforced or
circumstantially enforced.
It is easy to imagine that there are
a lot of brides splashing lots of cash every weekend, but I assure every new
bride I have that a budget it the first thing the majority of brides will
inform me of.
From there out, my advice is to work
out what is a ‘want’ and what is a ‘need’. Once this list is made, prices can
be kept low by eradicating the ‘wants’ where possible, while still ensuring the
‘needs’ are maintained to a higher standard than if they have opted for a few
more of the nice but not essential things.
Often it is simpler than first
thought to get the ‘wants’ cheaply or often even for free. For example, getting
your mum to cut you some of her roses from the garden for simple, but elegant
centrepieces for your tables or getting your best friend to make your wedding
cupcakes etc. Being British people, we often think we must buy from regulated
establishments and to ask for help in monetary terms is unthinkable, but it’s
amazing and heart-warming how many people are willing to help others, for free,
to ensure that extra part of happiness. A lot of people also like that feeling
of inclusion and on the day looking at something and thinking “I did that”,
it’s a tip that can’t be given to brides enough.
How would you like to develop the service offered to couples looking at
Homewood Park?
I’m always looking to better the
service given to brides. I love getting feedback from weddings and seeing
loopholes where things could be bettered – it’s true that even a glowing piece
of feedback will have an improvement somewhere between the lines.
We are a hotel who pride ourselves
on high standards of comfort, professionalism, luxury, kindness,
approachability and willingness to help in whatever way we can. This extends
throughout all our departments here and a bride would find she got equal
amounts of help and enthusiasm from our Spa staff, to our housekeeping staff to
our grounds men. This is what makes Homewood Park stand out from others, but
this is also what means that Homewood Park is constantly evolving, improving
and growing.
Each bride should feel that they
have had their fill of what they expected, a taste of something more than they
expected and the promise of everything and more than their guests expected. And
with each wedding, these standards are only ever lifted.
Any final words of advice?
I would advise brides and grooms to
plan early and never ever consider any task too big or small. It’s their
special day and it should be all they have hoped for, they should never ever
feel that their expectations are too high or their goals are too far away.
“The future belongs to
those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
